5-8-18

 I have not seen these scribbles for a while

but tonight is a new kind of hurt

the hurt that drives you insane until you can’t feel your fingertips on your skin anymore 

the way my bed is curved brings me closer 

the sun no longer sees my face

because I hide

my teeth and tongue do not touch 

my legs shake and I can’t stand 

are you there? 

my head keeps turning but I can’t see you 

this hurt is poison 

this hurt is a dagger 

But I will not be Juliet 

everything is still beautiful 

the eyes are still brown 

my heart still beats

this hurt will fade eventually 

but tonight

please let me cry

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

6-6-23 shedding

 it’s fine  don’t worry  i’m stepping out of this body to understand something better  I never felt like I could put my feet up anyway  The coasters on the coffee table weren’t used  The wood is still wet  I always asked for tea but you never bought it  I didn’t want to ask for tea anyway, I guess i’ll just have water  It’s dirty in here, I can’t sit down  I didn’t want to move my chair over anyway  It smells like grass and old books  I didn’t want to read to you anyway You can keep it all to yourself I’ve already changed out of my clothes  I didn’t want you to see my outfit anyway The carpet is scratchy  I can’t play my record anymore  I sold them to someone else  I didn’t want to dance anyway  But here now in this new body  I can rest my feet on your lap  I love feeling your warmth anyway  You got me a coaster for no apparent reason  The wood is dry  We had no tables, you gave...
Read more

5-31-20 Breakables

 •breakables one beat after another  it bangs in my chest  like a drum without a sound  without a bass without a rhythm  i’m the only one who can feel it’s aching thunder  like something trying to burst through the skin  who is behind the sticks? I really will never know  no cymbals no shells but i know the feeling of this drum  it doesn’t stop until the song ends  and it’s only the beginning
Read more

3-10-23 Despite It All

 i’m wrapped up  and here I am living despite the suffocation  I don’t deserve this  and here I am being loved despite the hardness of my heart  I forget how to walk  and here I am walking on the waters before me and ground that shakes  I’ve turned away  and here you are standing before me /despite it all/
Read more