9-12-16 A Poem I Would’ve Written Two Years Ago

 I'm being bullied

I'm called names 

I'm dismissed from the lunch table

Scolded for not using a certain language 

Made fun of for my hair and my baggy pants 

Pointed and laughed at 

Not even getting a second glance 

Tripping over my untied shoe laces 

But no one is around 

No no no this isn't from other people 

It's just me 

And the mirror 

A garbage heap of loneliness and hatred 

I guess they never bothered to take out the trash 

My dirty heart and mind hold hands and skip down the road 

Ignoring the cliff they will fall in 

Scraping my skin of anything beautiful 

Oblivious of the ringing in my ears 

I'm half asleep 

Dreaming of something better but walking in a furnace 

The flames rise higher everyday 

But my fading mind is drifting down a river 

Knowing I don't belong 

I never did 

But still I stay afloat 

Somehow I'm still drowning 

Somehow I'm still standing here in the furnace 

The rumbling and crackling driven into my ears 

Empty handed 

Vulnerable 

Where's the exit?

When will it be over? 

Maybe one day I'll finally drift in fresh water

•a poem I would've written two years ago•

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

6-6-23 shedding

 it’s fine  don’t worry  i’m stepping out of this body to understand something better  I never felt like I could put my feet up anyway  The coasters on the coffee table weren’t used  The wood is still wet  I always asked for tea but you never bought it  I didn’t want to ask for tea anyway, I guess i’ll just have water  It’s dirty in here, I can’t sit down  I didn’t want to move my chair over anyway  It smells like grass and old books  I didn’t want to read to you anyway You can keep it all to yourself I’ve already changed out of my clothes  I didn’t want you to see my outfit anyway The carpet is scratchy  I can’t play my record anymore  I sold them to someone else  I didn’t want to dance anyway  But here now in this new body  I can rest my feet on your lap  I love feeling your warmth anyway  You got me a coaster for no apparent reason  The wood is dry  We had no tables, you gave...
Read more

5-31-20 Breakables

 •breakables one beat after another  it bangs in my chest  like a drum without a sound  without a bass without a rhythm  i’m the only one who can feel it’s aching thunder  like something trying to burst through the skin  who is behind the sticks? I really will never know  no cymbals no shells but i know the feeling of this drum  it doesn’t stop until the song ends  and it’s only the beginning
Read more

3-10-23 Despite It All

 i’m wrapped up  and here I am living despite the suffocation  I don’t deserve this  and here I am being loved despite the hardness of my heart  I forget how to walk  and here I am walking on the waters before me and ground that shakes  I’ve turned away  and here you are standing before me /despite it all/
Read more